The Excrement Brewponent
Author Brent Zundel
By Brent Zundel and Matt Kennedy
For the MSU Exponent
March 28, 2013
Note: This column originally appeared as part of the Exponent’s annual April Fools’ Day edition, the Excrement.
The Coffee-ponent
Turns out, coffee is way better than beer. I was trying to tell Brent this last week, but he was being a complete ass clown and wouldn’t hear me out. I was being super nice, really, and then he started shouting and threw beer in my face. So much for friends. Anyway, I’m sure the readers will see it my way, so I’m going to shell out the facts.
Unlike beer, coffee has rich cultural value. From the proud farmer to the discerning roaster, there is an inexorable love of the drink that runs through every moment of each bean’s existence. Beer’s only culture is moldy yeast. Brent tried to feed me this crap-beer he brewed in his closet — this was before he threw it all over my nicest shirt — which was probably brewed with his toenail clippings and spit. I’m surprised a hillbilly who drinks that swill can even write. Read More…
Tavern Association Sours Montana Microbreweries’ Mash
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
March 21, 2013
If one special interest group has its way, Montana taps might soon run dry from Wibaux to Whitefish. The Montana Tavern Association (MTA) has spent the current legislative session sponsoring bills that would devastate the state’s burgeoning microbrewery scene.
Illustration by Jen Rogers, MSU Exponent
With our state ranking second in the nation for microbreweries per capita, Montanans love our beer. An October 2012 study showed that craft breweries contribute $50 million to the economy, $1.5 million to the state’s coffers and about 500 jobs to the state.
Despite this, at the start of the 2013 legislative session, Rep. Jeff Welborn, R-Dillon, introduced a bill that would have restricted microbreweries to selling only 10 percent of their beer on site. The rest would have to be sold at bars or retail outlets, a requirement that could have shuttered 31 of Montana’s 38 microbreweries. Vigorous and immediate uproar killed the bill.
The text of another MTA-backed bill, sponsored by Rep. Roger Hagan, R-Great Falls, was just released Tuesday, March 19. This bill is no better: It would allow breweries to sell only 40 percent of their beer in sample rooms. Read More…
Montana GOP Launches Actual ‘War on Women’
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
March 7, 2013
Note: This column originally appeared as part of the Exponent’s Sugarbeet page, a satirical biweekly feature that attempts to stimulate discussion of critical community issues.
An extremist faction within the Montana GOP has formally declared an actual “War on Women.” Led by Rep. Krayton Kerns, R-Laurel, the paramilitary group launched a failed coup d’état against MSU President Waded Cruzado this Monday, March 4, underscoring the tension that has torn Montana families apart and pitted brother against sister.
Cruzado successfully staved off the coup from her perch in Montana Hall, where she runs the university with a panel of buttons and levers. The all-male group of legislators was repelled by Cruzado’s secret all-woman police force, headed by outgoing ASMSU President Kiah Abbey.
According to reports, the secret police — comprised of VOICE Center volunteers and performers from last week’s Vagina Monologues — repelled the attackers by launching copies of “The Feminine Mystique” and flaming bras from a trebuchet mounted on Montana Hall’s central turret. Read More…
Montana Legislature Lacks Land Ethic
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
March 7, 2013
This week marks the halfway point of the 63rd Legislature. As that milestone blows past us like a half-bent mile marker on a poorly patrolled Montana highway, examining the progress so far proves very telling.
If one thing has become painfully obvious, it is the startling lack of a land ethic informing our legislators. Both this and the 2011 session have contained slews of bills designed to weaken access to public lands, damage the integrity of our wildlife populations, and privatize our rights to a clean environment in favor of industry profit.
On Monday, Feb. 18, sportsmen crowded the Montana Capitol in support of House Bill 235, which would have allowed corner crossings on public land. Photo by Eliza Wiley/Independent Record.
And let’s be clear: Only one party consistently opposes reasonable solutions to many of these problems. The most recent example of the GOP’s unyielding opposition is the failure of House Bill 235, known as the “corner crossing bill.” Read More…
New Brewery Combines Craft Beer and Craft Pizza
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
March 3, 2013
Bridger Brewing became the newest addition to Bozeman’s collection of microbreweries this Saturday, March 2. Located in the Town & Country complex just a block away from the MSU campus, the brewery is serving up “craft beer with craft pizza,” according to General Manager and Owner David Breck.
The sign above Bridger Brewing’s bar. Photo by Brent Zundel
Last night, Bridger Brewing held a family and friends night as a trial run, but today is their first day open to the public. Business was brisk, but not crowded as a group of friends and I were seated in a cozy corner table right away.
The brewpub’s ambiance is a significant shift away from any of the others in town. Large floor-to-ceiling windows shower the entrance in light, but the back of the building opens up into a cavernous seating area with low mood lighting and sleek black tables. Read More…
Drinking around Town
Author Brent Zundel
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
February 28, 2013
Good drinks abound in Bozeman, but what if you had to choose just one drink from each watering hole? No lingering over endless pitchers at the Hauf or lighting your pocketbook on fire for round after round at the Bacchus.
Instead of wearing ruts into a few blocks of sidewalk downtown, branch out and try somewhere other than the main slog of college bars. What follows is a non-scientific exploration of some of Bozeman’s most interesting places to knock one back, none of which you’ll find downtown. Read More…
Hangovers
Author Brent Zundel
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
February 14, 2013
Even if you don’t wake up with a tiger in your bathroom, a missing tooth or someone else’s baby in your closet, almost every college student will deal with a hangover sooner or later. Read More…
Guns on Campus: A History
Photo by Nicole Smith, MSU Exponent
By Brent Zundel For the MSU Exponent February 14, 2013
“Some out-of-state students seem a little shocked,” AdvoCat Amara Crane recently explained. Most prospective students who visit MSU, however, don’t seem especially interested in guns.
The students who are interested, Crane said, are native Montanans, mostly concerned with storing their hunting rifles while they live in the Residence Halls during the fall hunting season. Crane, of Laurel, has worked as a tour guide for AdvoCats representing MSU to prospective students for two years.
“Some out-of-state students seem a little shocked.” —MSU AdvoCat Amara Crane Read More…
Pucker Up: Sour Beer
Author Brent Zundel
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
January 31, 2013
How would you react if, instead of adding carefully cultivated yeast strains (or formaldehyde in the case of PBR), your favorite brewery let wild yeast and bacteria spontaneously ferment your beer? Could you stomach the distinctively sour taste?
A row of lambics for sale at Joe’s Parkway.
If you could — or if you just want a beery, new adventure — pick up a lambic beer at a local grocery store. Unlike the traditional ales and lagers that get us through the week, lambics rely on spontaneous fermentation from wild yeast and bacteria. Typically, the beer is brewed with a 70:30 percent ratio of barley to wheat. Read More…
Student Voting Rights Threatened in 2013 Montana Legislature
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
January 15, 2013
Students’ voting rights are again under fire as the 63rd Montana Legislature considers a number of bills that would disproportionately disenfranchise some of the most neglected segments of society.
In addition to undercutting the ability of many senior citizens, Native Americans and low-income Montanans — groups that are already especially vulnerable — to vote, the rights of students are also threatened.
This attitude toward students is, unfortunately, nothing new. Read More…
Author
Mountain Solitaire Author Brent Zundel
MOUNTAIN SOLITAIRE 