Atomic Ale
Author Brent Zundel
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
October 11, 2012
Quick: What would you do if a nuclear bomb exploded over Bozeman? After the shock wave passed, what would you do amidst the roiling chaos that surrounded you? Futilely wish you’d joined the Church Universal and Triumphant so you could live out the rest of your days in their underground end-of-times bunkers near Corwin Springs? Drive as fast as you can against the prevailing wind?
What about cracking a cold one, sitting on your porch and just watching the world go to shit? Read More…
Montana Rep. Denny Rehberg to Students: ‘I’m Just Like You’
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
October 4, 2012
Note: This column originally appeared as part of the Exponent’s Sugarbeet page, a satirical biweekly feature that attempts to stimulate discussion of critical community issues.
Last Friday, Sept. 28, Montana Rep. Dennis Rehberg — or “Denny,” as he is reportedly known while relaxing among lobbyists — visited the Montana State University campus on an impromptu campaign stop. After unsuccessfully attempting to pal around on the Mall with college students who desperately avoided eye contact, Rehberg spoke to a small crowd of supporters in the Student Union Building.
His speech’s overarching message was tailored to the occasion. Rehberg emphasized his concern for students, repeatedly saying, “I’m just like you!” before telling stories about his “wild nights” in an attempt to connect with members of the younger generation.
“Just like any college student, I have a solid record of making questionable life decisions involving alcohol,” Rehberg claimed. “Why, when I was in Kazakhstan with [former] Sen. Burns, I once got drunk, fell off a horse, and proceeded to call my local hosts ‘cone heads’ while making alien noises!” Read More…
Beer Floats
Author Brent Zundel
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
September 27, 2012
I’m going to share with you one of the greatest discoveries I have ever made. I’m not sure you deserve this paradigm-shifting information without any effort of your own, but it’s so seductive I can’t resist.
Beer floats. Read More…
Maintaining Montana’s Open-Access Heritage
Bridge Over Troubled Water: James Kennedy has blocked access from the public bridge at Seyler Lane to the public waters of the Ruby River below. Photo by Nick Gevock, Montana Standard
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
September 20, 2012
Montanans cherish our hunting and fishing heritage almost as much as we resent seeing California license plates parked at the trailheads to our favorite sagebrush hill or river hole. In this case, though, the out-of-stater is James Cox Kennedy, an Atlanta media mogul worth around $6.5 billion.
Kennedy’s long and complicated relationship with Montana centers mostly on eight miles of riverfront property on the Ruby River, a small tributary of the Beaverhead River in southwestern Montana. Read More…
Harvest Moon
Author Brent Zundel
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
September 13, 2012
“This is an aggressive ale. You probably won’t like it. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or sophistication to be able to appreciate an ale of this quality and depth.” Read More…
Marriage Equality Is a Montana Value
Photo by Samantha Katz, MSU Exponent
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
September 6, 2012
Supporters of marriage equality converged on Bozeman this past June to celebrate the Montana Pride festival. More than any other feeling, a tangible sense of acceptance and support overwhelmed participants as the city came together in a big way.
During the parade, Main Street overflowed with happy, cheering supporters (and a lone megaphone-wielding protester). Young children and senior citizens, straight and homosexual Montanans, war veterans and Christians, nonprofits and Bozeman businesses marched down Main and watched from the sidewalk. Afterward, Diane Sands, the first openly gay member of the Montana Legislature; Jamee Greer, a lobbyist with the Montana Human Rights network; and many others spoke about both their personal and larger struggles. Read More…
Introducing The Brewponent
Author Brent Zundel
By Brent Zundel and Matt Kennedy
For the MSU Exponent
September 6, 2012
Don’t worry, we understand why you did it. Why you drank Folgers this morning and why you’re already looking forward to that Coors Light later today. Sure, other beer and coffee is expensive. Anyway, the only people who like specialty beer and coffee are snobs. They strut into the coffee shop or bar, with their thin moustaches, loafers and stylish scarves, and order something you don’t understand. Maybe you can pronounce it, but you don’t know what’s in it, and you certainly don’t drink it with a smugness only appropriate for English royalty and AKC dog shows. We get it. If you have to look and act like that, it seems better to continue buying the 24 packs of PBR.
Lucky for us, Bozeman’s drinking culture is not populated by snobs. Read More…
Cold as Ice, Hard as Granite: Montana’s Highest Peak
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
September 6, 2012
Unsettled rain clouds swirled around the Gallatin Valley and the Absarokas south of Livingston belched smoke into the surrounding air as Chris, Brian and I fled Bozeman last Friday evening. My roommate Chris and I had reunited with Brian, fresh off a summer guiding glaciers in Alaska, to try to conquer Montana’s highest point, Granite Peak, at 12,799 feet.
After Denali in Alaska, Granite is considered by many alpinists to be the hardest of the 50 state highpoints, due to its remote backcountry location, its technical routes and its temperamental weather. Read More…
Great Beer from a Great State
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
June 8, 2012
Beer is one of the most culturally important aspects of growing up, perhaps at no time more so than in college. While finding someone to buy a 30-rack seems to be the most pressing need for some freshmen, beer’s importance in Montana transcends those concerns in a number of important ways.
Unlike wine, beer suffers from often unfair stereotypes. While some beer drinkers earn their frat boy reputations, many others simply enjoy partaking in one of mankind’s most ancient rituals. Oftentimes, the ingredients — water, barley, yeast and hops — are cultivated very differently just one valley over, which makes beer from every small brewery unique.
Montana is one of the best places in the world for beer lovers, with a variety as big as our sky. Per capita, Montana has the second most breweries in the nation — ahead of Oregon and just barely behind Vermont. Moreover, Montanans consume the third most beer per person in the country.
“Montana is one of the best places in the world for beer lovers, with a variety as big as our sky.” Read More…
Financial Aid Office Helps First Student in 39 Years
By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
June 8, 2012
Note: This column originally appeared as part of the Exponent’s Sugarbeet page, a satirical biweekly feature that attempts to stimulate discussion of critical community issues.
In a stunning turn of events last month, the MSU Office of Financial Aid successfully helped a student for the first time in 39 years. According to a Financial Aid informant who spoke on condition of anonymity, the assisted incoming freshman, Brian Naeve, is likely ruined for the rest of his college career.
“He’ll expect perfectly reasonable things from Financial Aid now. For instance, he’ll likely assume our office will correctly account for all of his scholarships, treat him politely during the majority of our interactions and just generally attempt not to make his life a living hell,” the insider explained.
“Unfortunately, none of that will ever happen again.” Read More…
Author
Mountain Solitaire Author Brent Zundel
MOUNTAIN SOLITAIRE 