By Brent Zundel
For the MSU Exponent
March 29, 2012

Note: This satirical news brief originally appeared as part of the Exponent’s annual April Fools’ Day edition, the Excrement.

In response to the lackadaisical approach taken by many student government senators, MSU President Waded Cruzado has proclaimed that future senators must partake in an annual battle to the death, termed The Bobcat Games.

For years, MSU students have complained about their lack of representation in the senate, culminating with the recent voter turnout of a meager 7.3 percent. “I’m sick of those senators caring only about their résumés,” said junior Catnip Everclear. “I want some damn representation!”

According to Cruzado’s decree, two Tributes — one male and one female — will be randomly selected from each of MSU’s nine colleges in a process known as the Reaping. After being chosen, the 18 tributes will be transported to the newly renovated Bobcat Stadium, where they will fight to the death until only one senator survives, as thousands of fans watch and scream rabidly. Read More…